Women are allowed on Mrityubhoj?
Yes, women are allowed in Mrityubhoj, especially in modern times — but the extent of their involvement varies by region, custom, and family tradition.
🟢 In Today's Time (General Practice):
- Women usually attend the Mrityubhoj feast and eat the food along with others.
- They also help with cooking, serving, and management of the event if it is hosted at home.
- In many families, women participate in prayers or rituals, especially on the 13th day (terahvin).
- In cities and educated families, there is usually no restriction on women’s presence.
⚠️ Traditional or Rural Customs (in some regions):
- In some orthodox or rural areas, women may be:
- Not allowed to participate in the main ritual or Shraddha puja
- Restricted from eating before certain rituals are completed
- Asked to remain behind a curtain or in another room while male guests are served first
These rules are based on old patriarchal customs, not direct scriptural commands.
🔱 Scriptural View:
- Hindu scriptures focus more on the purity, intention, and shraddha (faith) of the ritual performer, not on gender.
- There is no clear scriptural ban on women attending Mrityubhoj or Shraddha.
- In fact, in absence of a male heir, daughters or wives can perform Shraddha rituals — this is accepted by many modern scholars and dharma gurus.
✅ Conclusion:
- Yes, women are allowed in Mrityubhoj.
- Restrictions in some regions are social traditions, not scriptural rules.
- The modern trend is moving toward gender equality in rituals, especially in spiritual families.
Women at cremation ground
🔱 Why are women traditionally not allowed to go to the graveyard or cremation ground?
🕉️ 1. Traditional Beliefs (Not Scriptural Rules)
In many parts of India, especially in traditional or rural settings, women are discouraged or even forbidden from going to the smashaan (cremation ground) or kabristan (graveyard) when a loved one dies.
The reasons often cited include:
🔸 a. Emotional Sensitivity
It’s believed women are more emotional, and their presence might lead to uncontrollable grief or fainting, which can disturb the rituals.
🔸 b. Physical & Energetic Weakness
Some traditions say that the negative energy (tamasic vibrations) at the cremation ground can affect women’s health, especially due to their reproductive system or if they are pregnant or menstruating.
🔸 c. Ritual Impurity (Rajas-Tamas)
Older customs classify menstruating women or recently childbearing women as ritually “impure” (rajasic/tamasic) and hence kept away from sacred or transitional spaces like cremation grounds.
🔸 d. Security Concerns
In earlier times, cremation grounds were in isolated forests or riverbanks. It was considered unsafe for women to travel long distances or remain there after dark.
📚 What Do the Scriptures Say?
- There is no direct prohibition in major scriptures like Vedas, Upanishads, or Bhagavad Gita against women attending cremation.
- In fact, in several ancient stories, women participated in funeral rituals, and even performed Shraddha in absence of sons or husbands.
✅ Modern Understanding
- Women today are educated, emotionally strong, and can handle grief with dignity and grace.
- Many families now allow women to attend funerals, cremations, and even perform last rites — especially when they are the closest relation (e.g., daughter to father).
- Even many priests and saints now support equal participation of women.
🧘♀️ Final Truth:
✨ The restriction on women going to graveyards is a cultural custom, not a divine law.
✨ A daughter’s love is no less than a son’s.
✨ If her heart says to go and give a final farewell, she should be allowed — with full honor and dignity.
Cremation Ground vs Graveyard
Graveyard and cremation ground are different — both in practice and sometimes in religious traditions. Let’s clarify:
🔱 1. Cremation Ground (Shamshan Bhoomi / Smashaan Bhumi)
- 🔥 Used for cremation — burning of the dead body (common in Hinduism, Jainism, Sikhism, some Buddhists)
- The body is placed on a pyre made of wood or in an electric crematorium
- After cremation, ashes (asthi) are collected and later immersed in a river (like Ganga)
Called:
- Smashaan, Shamshan, or Cremation Ground
- Often located near rivers or outskirts of towns
- Considered a transitional, high-energy space — linked to detachment and impermanence
⚰️ 2. Graveyard (Kabristan)
- ⚰️ Used for burial — placing the body in the earth
- Common in Islam, Christianity, and some tribal and regional traditions
- The body is wrapped, placed in a grave, and covered with soil
- A gravestone or marker may be placed on top
Called:
- Kabristan in Urdu/Hindi
- Graveyard or Cemetery in English
- Seen as a place of rest, remembrance, and often visited for prayers
📌 Key Differences
| Feature | Cremation Ground | Graveyard |
|---|---|---|
| Used for | Burning the body | Burying the body |
| Common in | Hinduism, Sikhism, Jainism | Islam, Christianity |
| Rituals after death | Asthi visarjan, Pind Daan | Fatiha, prayers at the grave |
| Remains | Ashes | Entire body |
| Visited after death | Rarely (except for rituals) | Frequently (for prayers, visits) |
🧘♂️ Spiritual Difference:
- Cremation is based on the idea of freeing the soul from the body quickly, reducing attachment.
- Burial is based on the belief that the body should be laid to rest, often for resurrection or judgment day (in Abrahamic faiths).
But
Nowadays, some Hindus today also bury the dead body instead of cremating it, although cremation remains the primary practice in mainstream Hinduism.
Let’s understand why and where this burial practice exists among Hindus:
🔱 1. Traditional Hindu Practice: Cremation
- Cremation (अग्नि-संस्कार) is prescribed in scriptures like Garuda Purana, Manusmriti, and Dharma Shastras.
- It is believed that:
🔥 Agni (fire) purifies the body and frees the soul (Atma) to move on to the next stage — pitru-loka or rebirth.
⚰️ 2. When and Why Do Some Hindus Bury the Dead?
✅ a. Sadhus, Saints, and Yogis
- Many Hindu monks (especially those who’ve attained a high spiritual level) are buried in a sitting meditation posture.
- Their burial site is called a Samadhi, not a grave.
- Reason: Their body is believed to be purified and doesn’t need cremation. It becomes a spiritual site.
✅ b. Children Below a Certain Age
- Traditionally, children below 5–7 years (infants) are often buried, not cremated.
- Reason: Their soul is considered pure and free from karmic bondage.
✅ c. Certain Caste or Tribal Groups
- Some communities within Hindu society (especially in South India, Bengal, parts of Maharashtra and tribal areas) have local customs of burial.
✅ d. By Family Choice or Practical Reasons
- In some modern cases, families choose burial due to:
- Cost or land availability
- Environmental concerns
- Availability of cremation facilities
- Or a simple personal/family tradition
🧘♂️ Spiritual View:
- The core belief in Hinduism is not just about how the body is disposed, but how the soul is released with devotion, prayer, and proper rites.
Whether cremated or buried, if the rituals are done with shraddha (faith), the Atma finds peace.
📌 In Summary:
| Situation | Cremation | Burial |
|---|---|---|
| General adult Hindus | ✅ Preferred | 🚫 Rare |
| Saints/Sadhus | 🚫 Not cremated | ✅ Buried (Samadhi) |
| Infants/young children | 🚫 Usually avoided | ✅ Buried |
| Tribal/caste customs | ❌ Not followed | ✅ Local traditions |
| Modern choice/environment | Changing slowly | Growing acceptance |